The Last Supper

Sup amigos? School and life have had me pretty busy, thus the reason for no posts in the last 2 months. With the semester wrapping up really soon (2 weeks!!), I'm hoping I'll have more time to post, but I'll be busy studying for Boards and getting ready to start clinic, so we'll have to wait and see. But I wanted to post today because the worship service at church this morning was just incredible. With Easter just one week away, the focus this morning was on the Last Supper, but it was presented in an entirely new way for me. Most sermons focus on the fact that it was the last night Jesus spent with the twelve before He was crucified, but tend to look over the fact that they were also celebrating Passover that night. (For those who don't know, Passover is a Jewish celebration of remembrance for when God sent the tenth plaque to Egypt (the death of the firstborn), saved them from the angel of death, and led them out of slavery into freedom and eventually, the promised land.)

In his sermon, Kyle Idelman went through the different elements of the traditional Passover meal that the Jewish people take part in. They started by eating greens dipped in salt water. The salt water represented the tears shed by the Hebrews while they were in slavery in Egypt. They ate unleavened bread, which was bread without yeast. God told the Hebrews to leave the yeast out of their bread because they wouldn't have time to let the bread rise when they were released and set free from Egypt. They ate it to remember how quickly their salvation came. Also, the yeast in the bread represented sin. (More on that later.) They dipped their bread in different sauces. First, they dipped it in a sauce made from bitter herbs and roots, and if you eat this sauce, it will literally bring tears to your eyes. This was so they would remember the bitterness of their slavery in Egypt. Next, they would dip the bread in a sweet sauce, to remember the sweetness of their salvation and of the promised land. They would then fill up 4 cups of wine and pass it among themselves. The first was the cup of salvation, to remember their salvation from Egypt. The second was the cup of deliverance, to remember their freedom. The third was the cup of redemption, to remember the redemption of their people. The fourth was the cup of praise, to remember to give praise to God for what He has done. Each cup was filled to the brim, because a full of cup of wine is said to represent joy. They drank and told the story of the Passover with complete joy. Lastly, they would eat the meat of the Passover lamb. God told the Hebrews to slaughter a spotless lamb, to paint the door frames of their homes with its blood, and to eat the meat. On the night of the Passover, the angel of death would pass by any homes with the blood of the lamb on the door frames. If any home was without blood, any firstborns inside would be killed. All firstborns in Egypt, human and animal, were killed on that night, and that was the final straw for Pharoh. Having lost his own son, he told Moses and the Israelites to leave his country. So, although a horiffic event, the Jewish people celebrate it with joy every year because it brought them freedom.

So, back to the Last Supper. This was what Jesus and his disciples were celebrating the night before Jesus was crucified. If you read the accounts in the Bible, there is no mention of them eating a Passover lamb that night. Whether they were or not, we don't know. However, there was still a lamb at the table, reclining and celebrating with the disciples. Jesus is our spotless lamb, that was slaughtered so that His blood could bring us grace and freedom. It makes the reason we celebrate communion even more meaningful and powerful for me. When Jesus broke the unleavened bread that night, he said "This is my body." Jesus was without sin, and the bread was without yeast, or sin. And when Jesus told them that the wine was his blood, poured out for all, he was presumably holding the cup of wine that was the cup of redemption, because his blood redeems us all. The Passover story and its celebration served to point the Jewish people toward Jesus, and when we read them today in the Bible, they serve the same purpose. Jesus, our Passover lamb, freed us from slavery to sin. His blood saves us, just like the blood on the door frames saved the Hebrews on that night thousands of years ago. This all changes the way that I will celebrate communion in the future. It means so much more to me now, and I'm thankful that God keeps revealing Himself to me in so many new ways. He continues to amaze me and I have no choice but to give thanks and to worship Him, and I'm thankful for the reminders of how great He truly is.

Sorry this was such a long post, but it really helps my understanding of things when I can just spit it out like that. But I also hope that you are able to take something new away from it like I was. Anyway....just wanted to give you something to think about as we look forward to celebrating Easter next Sunday!! :)

Something's gotta give (and no, this is not a reference to that really awkward Jack Nicholson and Diane Keaton movie)

This last month of school, more specifically the last 2 weeks, has been really busy. 5 exams and one full-metal gold crown later, I've made it through unscathed. (At least I hope...still waiting to see how one exam and that gold crown turned out, haha.) I'm really thankful for a break, even it is a short one. I'm glad I can have one weekend where I don't have to worry about studying or about an impending project due date. Last week on top of studying for a Pathology test, I came down with a cold, the likes of which my immune system hasn't had to battle in years. So as you can imagine, with the hours spent buried in my notes and the hours spent working in the lab this past week, I haven't had time for much else.

Unfortunately much else includes time spent with the Lord. It amazes me that I can still get so busy that I just brush off spending time in the Word when I get up in the morning. Or before I go to bed at night.  But I won't think twice about staying up until 3:30 learning a list of hundreds of drugs and what they do, only to get up less than 3 hours later and head off to take an exam on said list of drugs. I won't think twice about skipping a morning of class for the sake of my body fighting off a cold, but I still have trouble getting up a mere 30 minutes earlier than I normally would and opening up my Bible or spending time in prayer. Something's gotta give, and God doesn't like it when that something is him.

This is something I've battled time and time again, but it's a battle that I've got to keep fighting if my relationship with God really is what matters most to me. I did really well last summer and last fall about getting up 2 hours before class and spending time with God every morning. Somehow, the weekends slipped through the cracks, but for the most part, I began every day in the Word. Even this semester started off well, but then it was so dark when I woke up and it was so cold, I just couldn't make myself get out of my warm bed. Enough with the excuses. Maybe I need to switch to nights and give that another try. I'm much more alert at night and more likely to stay up later than I am to wake up early. But where's the real sacrifice in that? I've just gotta figure out my new battle strategy and roll with it. I don't want these last few weeks to become the norm for me. So if you're reading this, I would really appreciate your prayers. I'm open to suggestions too. Accountability and encouragement have always been a vital part of my walk with Christ, and I'm so grateful that God has blessed me with brothers and sisters who have been there to help me fight. You all are awesome. Anyway.....just wanted to give you a piece of what's been on my mind this week. Get it?? Piece of my mind....like the title of my blog, only different?? Clever, right?? ;)

I'm not ok with ordinary

My world got rocked tonight at the Post. I love it/hate it when that happens. Kyle Idleman spoke to us about "Advancing the Kingdom", which basically boils down to missions. I can't tell you how many times I've heard sermons, devotions, and Sunday school lessons about missions, but tonight God decided to grab my shoulders and give 'em a good shake. Tonight I realized that I've become complacent with just living an ordinary life, or the American dream if you will. There's nothing wrong with wanting to help others and provide for my family that God will hopefully bless me with someday- those are both really noble goals. And I also hope to use dentistry on mission trips to help reach people in need someday as well. But why have I been so concerned with the future? I often find myself asking God what His will is for my life....will I get married? Who will my wife be? Will I have kids? Where will I end up practicing dentistry? Notice a theme? Those are all questions that deal with the future. So what about the here and now? Everything I pray about right now deals with school, family and friends, people who are sick, relationship stuff....pretty typical, everyday stuff. My life right now is just ordinary. I'm not ok with that. God's not ok with that. Why am I not actively seeking opportunities to minister to my classmates and the other several hundred students at ULSD? Why am I not sharing the Gospel? Why am I ok with being ordinary when God wants me to be extraordinary? Why am I not willing to do what it takes to be the person God wants me to be? Why am I not praying that God would use me however He sees fit? Why do I put limits on what I ask God so that I get the answers that I'm ok with? Why am I asking so many questions? Haha....moving on. To be honest I think I'm scared. I'm scared that God might tell me to pack up and move to Asia. Or Africa. Oh, I'd be ok with going on a mission trip for a couple of weeks. The point is, whether or not God is calling me to move overseas, I should be willing to go if He wants me to. I should be willing to do whatever it takes for the sake of the Gospel. That's what it means to be extraordinary. Now, it doesn't have to be something extreme, like moving overseas. It could be as simple as asking my classmates how I can be praying for them. That simple question could open so many doors. God can use me in so many ways here in Louisville. After all, He has me here for a reason and I believe that reason is to share the Gospel with the people I live life with everyday- friends, classmates, future patients. God may not want me to move overseas, but I should be ok with that possibility because God will break me down until I am. I don't want to miss out on the work that God is doing or the work that he has planned. I've sinned for too long by not truly living out His will. It will take some time I'm sure, but that's something I'm going to change. Ordinary just doesn't cut it anymore.

Peace that surpasses all understanding

It's funny the way that God works. I don't mean "haha" funny, but more like ironic funny. In our house group (just another name for a small group) we've been studying the book of Philippians. Last night, we were in chapter 4 and we talked about peace. It's actually one of my favorite passages. Allow me to post the passage we read from...

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand, do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." --Philippians 4:4-7

Ok, so last night we discussed what it means to truly have "the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding" and what that looks like in our lives. We all tend to want to take care of things ourselves, or at least I do, and that causes a lot of stress, worry, and anxiety in our lives. This isn't what God wants for us. He wants us to literally give our worries and fears to him. Jesus tells us in Matthew 6 not to be anxious. He tells us again in Matthew 11:30 "For my yolk is easy, and my burden is light." God wants us to trade in our problems for His peace. To end the night, we all talked about an area or two in our own lives where we need to practice giving it up to God and receiving His peace. Little did I know that God would give me chances to put all of this into practice so soon.

This morning, I woke up to a text from my mom telling me that my Mamaw was taken to the hospital in an ambulance. Her right side was swollen, she was in extreme pain, and they later found that her white blood cell count was high. She has pretty bad rheumatoid arthritis (RA), and after a consult with her RA doctor, my mom and Papaw drove her to Louisville where she received injections in her shoulder, elbow, and knee. She's still in pain, but she got to go back home after a long morning and she's going to be ok. 

Earlier this evening, I got a text from one of my best buds a brother in BG. His dad was in a bad wreck tonight. At the time, all he knew was that he was hurt, but knew no other details. Just a while ago I got an update, and his dad was going in for a scan and had possibly hurt either his kidney or spleen. More updates will come, I'm sure.

What a day, right? But why tell you all of this? God calls us to rejoice in Him, regardless of the circumstance. From the moment I woke up, my day could have been full of worry. And I'll admit, I initially started to worry. But as I was showering I remembered what we talked about last night, and I put it into practice. I prayed. And I prayed again on my way to school. And I prayed again in class. Every time my dad sent me a text to update me, my heart jumped a little. And right now, my heart goes out to part of my BG family, so I've been praying. But there is absolutely NOTHING that I can do to change the circumstances. And in all honesty, that's ok with me. God stands outside of time. He sees everything that has ever happened, is happening, and will happen, all at the same time. He knows why this is happening. He knows why something that occurred 10 yrs ago happened. God has a plan, even though we can't see all of the details. But He sees it all. So why worry?? Nothing will ever surprise our Lord. I can pray for healing of my family members and dear friends, but I can't worry about it because it's not up to me how it all turns out. So while I'm concerned about my friend's dad, and while I was concerned about my Mamaw this morning, I'm not worried. I'm rejoicing in the truth that our God is in control. Whatever happens is ultimately for His glory. I'm praying for peace, and God is coming through. He always does. :)

How long?

I'm not one to just post some song lyrics or a random link, but I wanted to add this as a follow-up to last night's post. This song is by one of my favorite artists, Andrew Peterson. "The Reckoning (How Long)" is cry to God, asking how much longer we have to wait for Jesus to return and for God to set this world right. The lyrics in this song sum up my feelings over the last few days exactly. I'll be the first to admit that my selfish, human side doesn't necessarily want Him to return just yet, because there's tons of stuff I want to do here on Earth....but there will always be something else. When I'm downright honest with myself, I can't help but let these words be my prayer as I listen to this awesome song. Just follow the link below. I hope you'll enjoy it as much as I do. :)


"The Reckoning (How Long)"

I want to move to Narnia

I just recently finished re-reading The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis. I read all of them when I was in 3rd or 4th grade, but as a kid, I missed most (if not all) of their symbolism. I remember enjoying them a lot, so I was really excited when I found out a few years ago that they were going to start making them into movies. Thankfully, they've stayed pretty true to the books and I've loved all three of the movies they've turned out so far. (Hopefully, they'll turn the other books into movies as well, but that's neither here nor there.) After seeing the first two movies (which were The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe followed by Prince Caspian) I decided to re-read the series because as I had also realized after starting college, there was a lot of theology woven into the books; I wanted to catch what I had missed as a 9 year old. As I read each book, I fell in love with the them and the story that they told.


In my last post, I wrote about how I've rediscovered the birth of Christ and just how monumental it really was. Much in the same way, re-reading these books has helped me rediscover how incredible God's story is. The entire Bible, from Genesis to Revelation, tells the awesome story of our God. God creates man, but man turns away from God over and over again because of sin. But rather than destroy everyone out of anger, God chooses to show them how much He loves them by redeeming them through Christ. And then He goes even further by giving them instructions on how to live as His adopted children once they've been redeemed. And if that wasn't enough, He ends it all by giving them a glimpse of what's to come when He once and for all destroys sin, the one thing that stands between Him and His beloved children. He creates a new Heaven and a new Earth that's perfect and free from sin, where His children can be with Him forever. The best part?? It's all true. How awesome is that?! Although they are works of fiction and fantasy, The Chronicles of Narnia mirror this story, but simplifying the major points. All of this is just a long way of saying that I was able to draw the comparisons and similarities between the books and the Bible as I read, and that's what I loved so much about the books. They're purely fantasy, but you can sense the longing that the children in the books have to be with Aslan the lion, the God-character in the series. 


It was as I read about their longing for Aslan that I realized that's the same way God wants us to long for Him. Whenever the children were sent back to England from Narnia, they never stopped thinking about being back in Narnia with Aslan. How much more should we want to be where our true, living God is? The last book really got me thinking about this as well. As the book wraps up, the children are called to Aslan's country, where Aslan lives. They soon realize after arriving that Aslan's country is a mirror of both Narnia and England, only bigger, better, and perfect. And I may be off, but right now that's how I envision the new Heaven and new Earth that are mentioned in Revelation...a perfect Earth that's never felt the effects of sin. And I'm so excited to be there someday. But honestly, as long as I'm with my God and Creator, I don't think it really matters where I am.


That's what I've really been thinking about for the last week since finishing the Narnia series. God gave us the Bible so that we could see how much He loves us, so that it would point us to Him so that we could be saved by the blood of His Son, and so that someday soon we can all be with Him and remain in His presence forevermore. And that's what simply amazes me. It gives me a new perspective with which to read my Bible. It gives me a renewed sense of hope. And it reassures me that God has everything under control, because He already knows how everything will end someday. I'm thankful my God is who He is. And I'm thankful that He's able and willing to use even a book series written for children to reopen our eyes to how awesome His story is and how awesome His plans are for us. Our God truly is an awesome God. :)

"That's what Christmas is all about Charlie Brown"

I'll be up front about admitting that I'm a horrible blogger. Life has gotten way too busy for me to update my blog faithfully, but here we are. Allow me give a quick school update, because that's not the main reason I'm posting today. I'm halfway through my second year of dental school. I'm surviving and finding ways to enjoy it even though this is the toughest and most hectic year of the four (or so we've heard; honestly, they're all hard, ha). Most of my time is spent studying or working on lab work for several classes. This spring will be the final push before we start seeing patients this summer. We take National Boards Part 1 this summer, and we start treating patients in clinic sometime in June or July. Terrifying? Yes. Exciting? You bet!


Enough about school. Today is Christmas Eve. I've always loved the Christmas season. Like any kid, I always looked forward to opening presents on Christmas morning, and let's be honest...I still do, ha. But as I've grown older, especially these last few years, I've come to appreciate the time spent with family much more. But even though I've "grown up" in church and have been a Christian since I was 7, I still don't think I've ever really appreciated the reason we even celebrate Christmas: the birth of Jesus Christ. But this Christmas season has been different for me, and I'm grateful for that.


After some "shopping" and a lot of driving back to Etown for church, I now consider Southeast Christian Church my church home in Louisville. I've joined a small group, I've made lots of new friends, and I truly love worshipping there on Sundays. For the last few weeks, we've been in a sermon series called "Socks and Underwear". Socks and underwear are typically gifts that you get at Christmas that you really don't want, even though they may be exactly what you need. So, that has been the theme as we've taken a different approach to the Christmas story: The Jewish people back in the Jesus' day viewed him as their socks and underwear. When they expected the Messiah, they envisioned a warrior king, not a poor, humble carpenter born in a barn. However, Jesus was exactly what they needed, even though they didn't realize it. Studying the prophets and the Gospels from that approach has really given me a renewed sense of awe, humility, and gratitude for the Gift that we received over 2,000 years ago. 


I also had the pleasure of seeing Andrew Peterson's "Behold the Lamb of God" last Thursday in Nashville at the Ryman with some of my best friends. What a night! For those of you who have never heard of it before, it's a concert, for lack of a better word, that is completely based on Scripture. Starting in the Old testament, it goes through the Bible and explains Israel's (and our) need for a Savior; it ends with the birth of Christ in the Gospels. The music is very powerful and thought provoking, and it opened my eyes yet again to the truth of the Christmas story. Jesus came to redeem a world that was ravaged and oppressed by sin, and the entire Bible is devoted to telling that story. The Old Testament isn't just a compilation of books of laws, poems, and prophecies, but rather story that points directly to Christ. I've heard that all throughout college, but for the first time, it resonated and really affected me.


Growing up singing Christmas carols, reading the Christmas story from Luke, seeing the birth of Christ portrayed by various Christmas programs had given me a view of the birth story that wasn't entirely accurate. Jesus wasn't born on just a silent night, and most likely it wasn't all calm. He was born during a Roman census in a tiny, crowded city. He was born in a dirty barn that was full of animals, behind an inn. There were no nurses, no doctors, no midwives. Mary and Joseph were young, newly married virgins who were probably scared to death to be delivering a baby alone in such filthy conditions. And that's not even the half of it. This wasn't just a boy that grew up to become our Savior. Jesus left his throne in Heaven, spent 9 months in Mary's womb, and was born as a tiny baby into these conditions...not a birth that's fitting for such a King. He was with God from the beginning. He was there when God spoke everything into creation. He witnessed the downfall of man. He knew what he was being born into, and knew that he would have to die alone on a cross. He knew exactly what he was coming to do, and he did it willingly because he loves us so much. That is why we celebrate Christmas.


**Forgive me if you read all of this and said "Duh, Ryan." I just wanted to express the complete awe and humility that I've been blessed to feel these last couple of weeks. I really believe this is the first time that I've truly appreciated just how amazing and how huge the birth of Christ really is, and even though it saddens me that it has taken 24 years for it to happen, I'm truly grateful for this revelation. I'm even more grateful that the God of the Universe loves me enough to save me in such a way. I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas and that you and your families will be blessed this season. :)

One year down

Well, I successfully completed my first year of dental school!! (And summer term of our second year started today...bit of a bummer but we knew it happened like this. :) ) God is good, people. I can think of no other reason as to why I was able to make it out of this last year. Let me be honest for a minute. Dental school is not in and of itself unbearably hard. The stress that you put on yourself to succeed, and moreover, to excel really takes a toll and makes dental school harder than it really is. Of course the hours of studying that you need to put into your science classes and the hours of lab time you need to put toward projects and practicing operative also contribute to the stress. But all in all, it's doable. But I am so thankful that my God is bigger than my stresses and worries. God has placed many friends in my path since school started last July, and they have been there for me through thick and thin. Study partners, someone to laugh with, someone to vent with, a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen when needed....all blessings that I'm very grateful for. And of course my family...it would have been extremely hard without my family to support me. My parents have no idea what I'm talking about when I call to talk about my day, but they always listen and are always praying for me and have encouraging words to say. And my friends down in good 'ol Bowling Green...to say I miss them would be a huge understatement. They've all been great and understanding of the fact that school is a priority right now, and even though I can't see them as often as I'd like, they're always there for me and are great at helping me relax and get away for a while when I visit or when we happen to talk on the phone. All of the people in my life are huge blessings from God. He's given me endurance, rest, confidence, peace, patience and so many other things. More importantly, His unconditional love and grace are always there. I think I've been able to reflect more on that fact this year than ever before, and I've been able to share that with classmates as well. Every time I think about it, or talk about it especially, I get a little emotional because of how great of a gift grace truly is. I'm very undeserving. God is so good, and THAT'S an understatement. :)

Weekend update

So...thought I would give a quick update on life here in the Ville. In a word, it's busy. Very busy. We're heading into our last 2 weeks of classes, and our finals week is the last week of April. And then we get a week off for Derby, and then back for summer term. At least at that point we'll be sophomores! But life is good. School has been very up and down for me this semester. I've had great weeks, I've had days that make me want to give up and quit school, but all in all, I can't complain. I've been blessed with some great friends up here. That was one thing that I missed about BG so much, and I still do. But having a close group of friends that I can study with, hang out with, go to church with...it makes life in the Ville so much more bearable when school gets me down. But my new outlook on school is simply this: I just have to survive and make thru to the next exam. I have been getting so caught up on grades and how I'm comparing to my classmates that I've been really, really upset with myself at times. But ya know what? The hand skills will come with practice. The grades are fine as long as they're passing...doesn't matter what my classmates get. At the end of it all, Lord willing, I'll graduate with a degree in my hand and a career as a dentist ahead of me. So yeah...there's a quick update for ya. My summer schedule should be a LOT less hectic, so I'll try to post more frequently. :) God is good!!! :)

"You're not alone"

This past Tuesday night at The Post, we talked about touching the unnoticed. This month's series is called "Touch", and it has been really challenging, encouraging, and motivating from the first week. This week really struck me however. We read from Mark 5:24-33, and its the story of the bleeding woman who was healed by touching Jesus' robes. Until now, I viewed it as just another story abut one of Jesus' miracles. So wrong. It's deals with so much more than that.

First of all, the thought that this woman had been bleeding for 12 years is hard to fathom. Up until a few years ago, I never even realized what was really going on with her...I just imagined that she was bleeding randomly as if she'd skinned her knees...definitely not the case here. I won't go into details...if you don't know what I'm talking about, go ask your mom. ;) Anyway, Jewish laws stated that if a woman was on her period, she was unclean. Everything she touched, sat on, etc, was also considered unclean during this time. I imagine that dealing with uncleanliness for a week out of the month was frustrating enough...imagine 12 years. And since anything or anyone you touched became unclean as well, you can imagine the responses she drew from people. No one would want to be around her. No one would want to hug her or show any sort of affection. She would be like an ignored, unnoticed, outcast, much like the lepers of the time. Imagine how hard that would be. Imagine how lonely she felt.

Fast forward to 2010. Put yourself in her shoes. Not the bleeding part, but the loneliness. I can assure you that I've never gone 12 years without so much as a tap on the shoulder from a loved one or friend, so I can't imagine what she was experiencing. But I have experienced loneliness. We all have. We're just like this woman. And the thing is, our loneliness may never present itself the same way every time. I've felt lonely and isolated because of sin. I've felt lonely when I moved to Louisville and felt as if I knew nobody. I've felt lonely even in a room full of people. Sure, I have lots of friends, but there are times when being surrounded by a crowd can be when you feel most alone. Just think...I'm sure we've all experienced it at some point. And when it happens to you, you feel even more isolated because you feel as if nobody else understands what you're going through or what you're thinking and feeling. That makes it much harder.

Back to the story. This woman had faith that even touching the hem of Jesus' robes would heal her and make her clean. (v. 28) To do so, she would have to push through the crowds, touching hundreds of people in the streets, making them "unclean" as she did. And then what faith and boldness it must have taken for her to reach out and touch the God of the Universe in the flesh. If there were one person that I would be afraid to touch and make "unclean", it would be Him. But Jesus didn't care. He knew immediately and asked "Who touched me?" (v. 31) With there being such a huge crowd, that woman could have easily shrunken away and left without ever saying a word. But she stepped forward and told Jesus everything. For one thing, I think it's amazing how even in a situation where she had no idea how Jesus would react, she felt compelled to tell Him everything about her situation. (v. 33) And he didn't get mad like some might expect. He responded by calling her daughter. (v. 34) Right in that moment, I can imagine how loved she felt. With a single touch, she went from being known as an unclean outcast to being referred to as a daughter by the Son of God. She went from feeling lonely and unloved to knowing that the Creator loved her and cared so much for her. How incredible?!

Picture your own life again. God has done the same for us. If you want to think of it as being "unclean", our sins have made us just as unclean as this woman, if not more. Yet Jesus calls us sons and daughters. He loves us so much that none of that matters. As long as we confess our sins to Him and have faith and truly believe in who He is, like the woman, He will gladly cover our sins and vouch for us before the Lord someday. Our faith makes us well, just like it did for her. And just like the woman, He can heal us of our loneliness. In today's world, its so hard to remember that even on our loneliest days, God is always right there with us, and that we're never truly alone. We sang a song to end the night on Tuesday that I thought summed it all up perfectly. And as cliche as it is to post song lyrics, I'm gonna post some of the lyrics to this song because I think this song describes Christ's love for us so beautifully.

Safe, by Phil Wickham

To the one who's dreams are falling all apart
And all you're left with is a tired and broken heart
I can tell by your eyes you think your on your own
but you're not all alone

Have you heard of the One who can calm the raging seas
Give sight to the blind, pull the lame up to their feet
With a love so strong and never let you go
oh you're not alone

You will be safe in His arms
You will be safe in His arms
'Cause the hands that hold the world are holding your heart
This is the promise He made
He will be with You always
When everything is falling apart
You will be safe in His arms

I just posted the first verse or two and the chorus, but I think you get the picture. I've heard this song I don't know how many times on the radio, but Tuesday night is when the meaning of the lyrics really hit me. I just love how it reminds us that we're not alone. God does the same thing all throughout Scripture, and I'm so glad that He's given us that promise. And even though its tough, I always try to remember that even on my worst days, I'm never, ever alone. The God who created the universe created me, holds me together, and loves me more than I could ever know. No matter what I'm feeling or going through, God will always be there to pick up the pieces when I fall apart and feel as if the rest of world could care less. And because God does that for us, we can and should do that for others. How can we reach out to the people who may feel unnoticed and unloved and touch them? I'm not just talking literal touch, although hugs and pats on the back are great. How can we impact someone's life by noticing them, even if it's just by having a conversation at lunch, or simply acknowledging them with a genuine smile? How can we share the love of Christ with the people of this world who need Him so desperately? Who in your life needs to experience the healing, loving, powerful touch of Christ?

How awesome is our God? :)

Me and my pal Regis

Well, I've been back in school for 2 weeks now, and I can already tell one thing about this semester: it's gonna be busy. As far as studying goes, I don't think it will be as intense as last semester. I say that now...we'll see, haha. However I can already tell that I'm going to be spending a lot of extra time at school in the labs working on dentures projects and trying to catch up with Operative. We're definitely starting to have more of a dentistry focus in our classes, and I think I'll enjoy that for the most part. But, a new semester means a new beginning, and that in itself is pretty exciting. On a side note about school, we're taking Head & Neck Anatomy this semester, and you know what that means...new cadavers!! This time around, we're only dissecting the head and the neck...hence the name of the class. :) We named our cadaver Regis. It's a good conversation starter. :)

God's really working in my life and revealing areas that need to be cleaned up, where I need to grow, and He's just teaching me so much. I can definitely feel when Satan tries to get at me, and those days are just downright frustrating and depressing. Those are the days when I question why I'm in dental school and if I've made the right decision. Those are the days when I have a bad day in lab and where I really just don't wanna study. But then there are the days where God gets my attention and says "Ryan, you're here for a reason. Be patient, and have faith." So that's what I've been trying to do. I'm reading my Bible more. I'm trying to be more faithful in prayer. I've been trying to live each day in a way that's pleasing to Christ, and I'm praying that His desires would be my desires and that I would stop living this life for myself. I gave that up when I was 7 years old...little did I know back then. It's only taken me 16 years to realize it. And believe me, it's not any easier knowing it now. Every day is a battle. But God is faithful, as always. This past Thursday, I had one of those days where God said "Ryan, here's why you're in dental school." I got to do my first clinical rotation for one of my classes, and it was in the Pedo (pediatric) clinic. I loved it. I've always loved hanging out and working with kids. If you've heard me talk about camp, you know how true that is. :) Until now, I've ruled out the possibility of specializing because I just didn't want to put myself through the stress and pressure of trying to be top of my class to get into a residency program. Most programs accept 2-3 students out of pools of at least 100 applicants. Needless to say, I could very easily see myself working with kids as a dentist. Whether thats as a general dentist who treats patients of all ages or as a pediatric dentist remains to be determined. I'm leaving that up to God. I know I'll be happy whichever way He leads though. That being said, specializing is not ruled out anymore...we'll just see where God takes me. After all, that's still a good 3 years away. I got really excited about it though, and a few of us went to observe in the Pedo Dental OR at Kosair's Children's Hospital on Friday morning at 7 am before class. The program director said we could observe and hang out with them anytime, so I think I may try to do that when I can. Ya know, just to keep my options open. :)

But anyway, yeah. God. School. Not much else going on in my life really. And that's ok. I'm gonna try to get more involved with Southeast and The Post this semester, and I'm hopefully going to join a small group in the next few weeks. I really miss having that kind of relationship with a group of guys who are able to keep me accountable, both in my spiritual walk and my personal life. It's such a blessing, and you don't realize how hard it can be trying to live the life Christ has called us to live until you try it alone. We're not meant to live it alone. That's one thing God has really taught me so far in my time in Louisville. But I've also gotta remember- even when I feel like I'm alone, Jesus is always with me. What an awesome thought. :)

One semester down...

Um....hey. My name's Ryan. You may not remember me. I'm the guy who used to write on this blog. In case you forgot about me, let me refresh your memory; I'm 23, I love Jesus, and I'm now finished with my first semester of dental school. :D

Let me apologize for abandoning my blog for the last 3 months. I thought about writing off and on, but honestly, I just had way too much to keep up with for school. Long story short...I love dental school, but it's hard. To say I'm relieved that the semester is over would be a huge understatement. I really needed a break. Mentally, I'm exhausted, which makes sense because I've been in school since July. And I think I just need a break from Louisville in general. I love the city now. But I associate it with stress too, so it's good to get away for a while and just relax. I miss people though. But anyway, nothing too exciting in my life other than school. I study all the time. At least it feels like it. Such is the life of a dental student.

But now it's Christmas time, so forget about school. I've loved being home without having to worry about studying or anything like that. It's so good to just relax with my family. And plus, it's Christmas, and that makes it 100x better. :) Now I just need to focus on what it's really about, because for the last few years, it's become about a long break from school, and time to hang out with friends without school getting in the way, and sadly about getting stuff. How selfish is that? Of course I know that we celebrate Jesus coming to Earth as a baby, but for some reason that's never on the forefront of my mind as of late. But that's an issue for me and God.

Oh, and I recently celebrated an anniversary. Friday, December 18th was the one year anniversary of when I had my gallbladder removed. It's been a good year without that little green, pear-shaped sac of bile. However, it still bothers me from the grave. Nothing big, just the occasional pain in my side where it used to live, phantom limb kind of thing. Or maybe phantom organ...anyway, it's annoying more than anything.

So yeah. I'm back, temporarily anyway. I plan on fully enjoying my break from school. I've already made a trip to BG, and I've already started catching up with some friends from home. Lots of family time already too, which means a LOT of screaming cousins running around the house like a bunch of monkeys on crack...gotta love em though!! This break is much shorter than what I'm used to from WKU though. Used to get 5-6 weeks off, and now I get 3. Not complaining though! I start back Jan. 4th, so I'm just gonna sit back and enjoy the few weeks I have left. One semester down, 7 more to go! And if this semester was any indication, they are gonna FLY by. Whoever said that time moves faster the older you get was definitely right. Not so sure I like that...haha.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! :D

Dear Fall

Dear Fall,

Thank you for arriving. I love everything about you: leaves changing color, football, hot chocolate, apples, pumpkin pie, cool weather, apple orchards, my birthday, apple cider, caramel apples, chili, Homecoming, brilliant blue skies, tailgating, hayrides, camping, bonfires, leaf piles...I could go on and on. I love the summer, for obvious reasons. Spring is great too, and even winter's not so bad, but Fall, I think you're my favorite. (Except for that whole school thing, but you can't help that.)

I'm looking forward to what you will bring us this year, and all of the fun times that I get to experience while you're here. You bring back so many memories, and sometimes that makes it hard to focus on things like Phsyio exams that I have in 3 days, which I really should be studying for...but instead I'm blogging about you. But really Fall, I'm glad you're here. Welcome back. :)

Your friend,
Ryan

Always a silver lining

So I had a pretty rough week. I spent most of the week in a funk, not really sure if I'm supposed to be in dental school. It's been one of those weeks where I wondered if I'm following God's will or if I'm just doing my own thing and convincing myself that it's God's will. And it rained all week. Funks and rain don't mix well my friends. School is getting tougher, and next year will be even harder...oh the things to look forward to. Last night, I found out that one of my good buddies from WKU, Paul, has my former Sunday school guys in his small group at Living Hope. I got really jealous and felt kinda left out, if that makes sense. And I'm still driving a rental car because my car is still in the shop getting fixed from my accident that happened 3 weeks ago. And did I mention that school is getting tougher? Pretty much at least an exam a week for who know how many weeks, quizzes pretty much everyday, and an overwhelming amount of notes to study, plus our upcoming competencies in operative class over cavity preparations that I'm still not doing so hot at.

But on the plus side of things...

I love my classmates. We had our Ball Off the Belle last night, and my classmates are so much fun to be around. The upperclassmen are great too...well, the few of 'em that I know. But it was a lot of fun and was a good way to end the week...relaxing and having fun. And I got out of my funk. God is good, and I still feel as if He wants me there for now...hopefully until I finish school, lol. That was confirmed last night at the Ball. I invited 2 good friends from WKU who are classmates here in Louisville to the Post with me this past Tuesday. They loved it, and said they both really enjoyed the worship and the preaching. And last night, while I was dancing with one of them, she thanked me for inviting them and told me they want to start going every week because of the difference it made in her week this week. That immediately made my week better. And it's like my mom told me this week when I called to tell her I didn't wanna go to school anymore (because every guy calls his mom when he has a so called life crisis haha), Satan is probably making life hard for me because he wants to keep me from finishing school so I can't do God's work here and eventually do dental missions someday. And I invited friends to church...that probably didn't make him happy either. But our God is SO much bigger and more powerful than Satan, and God's will is done regardless of Satan's plans. Maybe I'm not the best student in my class, and that's more than ok with me. Maybe I don't have the best hand skills right now, but that's ok too because God can use me somehow to have an impact on the lives of my classmates, whether it be big or small. And I'll get better with time...just gotta practice. And yeah, school's tough, but I knew it would be going into it. Just gotta take it like a man and do my best. And about my former Sunday school guys...I was jealous at first because Paul gets to hang out with them now and lead them in Bible study, and I'm not really involved in their lives anymore. But you know what?? They've got a great leader in Paul. Paul's a great guy who really loves the Lord, and they're in good hands. God is taking care of 'em, and that alone makes my selfish feelings go away. And yeah, I'm driving a rental and would love to have the good 'ol Bonneville back already, but at least I have a car to drive for the time being.

God is good and He is faithful. He will never let me down, and when I need Him most, that's when He is at His best, and He's always at His best, let's be honest. The most powerful being in all of creation loves me, created me, gave His Son for me, wants me to spend eternity with Him, and is always on my side. I don't deserve it, but that's what makes it so great. He loves me, and that's enough for me anyday.

Guess it wasn't such a bad week afterall. :)

How many cups of sugar does it take to get to the moon?

I just realized that it's been almost a month since I've really given an update or anything...holy cow. Well as promised, here's my update on life. I could easily sum it up in a word - busy. But that would make for a terrible blog. Although, some of my past posts could rival that in terms of being pointless or just dumb. Admit it, they made you laugh because they were trying so hard to be funny, which actually means that they accomplished their goal. Anyway, that really makes no sense and is absolutely irrelevent to my life. Haha...sometimes I crack myself up. I know...you don't get it. Moving on....a lot has happened in the last month or so, so I'm just gonna hit the high points about what I've been up to and what's been happening in the life of yours truly. It may be a little long, so consider yourself warned. And away we go...

The ULSD DMD Class of 2013 had our White Coat Ceremony on August 22. It was a really cool day. UofL views the ceremony as our 'official induction' to the field of dentistry. It was held at Southern's Alumni Chapel, so it was really nice. We were 'coated' by our advisor, got a picture with the Dean, recited the Dentist's Pledge. It may not sound like a big deal, but they make it a pretty special day. All of our families were there, and we all look pretty legit now. If you heard me talk about it at all back in the spring or even recently, you know I was excited about it...no point in trying to hide it, haha.

I've gotten involved with a ministry called The Post. It's a ministry of Southeast Christian Church, but you don't have to a member of the church to be involved, and I'm still looking for a new church, so that works out great. For those that don't know, it's a college age/young adult ministry that strives to reach UofL's campus and Louisville as a whole. I've met some really great people there, and some good friends from home and dental school go as well. I've even seen WKUers there, when they're not away at school. I really enjoy going. They meet on Tuesdays, kinda like 180, lol. But the preaching is always great and Biblically solid, and I really come away challenged and thinking every week. And the worship is awesome. God has really been using it all to show me areas where I need to grow and make changes. I think He's been trying to get at me for a good while, and together with my quiet time, which I'm happy to say is still going strong, I'm starting to be sensitive to what He's saying to me. God is good. :)

School's going well. It's gotten tougher, and I feel like I should be studying all the time, and of course I don't. Gotta work on that, haha. But yeah, I'm still enjoying it, despite the long lectures and ridiculous amounts of notes. For example, our first physiology test covered 3 weeks of material, which amounted to 140 pages of notes. That's like an entire semester's worth of notes in a bio class at WKU. Each exam is cumulative too, so it's gonna get tougher. But, gotta do it! And I'm slowly getting better at the dentistry part of it. Just gotta keep practicing...good thing we have 2 years before we touch a patient, haha!

I wrecked my car last week. It wasn't my fault- someone pulled out in front of me. We were both within 2 blocks of our homes, and it was rush hour...great timing, huh? Long story short, my car got the better end of the deal- their's was totaled, mine had bumper damage. They considered totaling it because of the age of my car, but it was only about $2000 worth of damage, so their insurance is gonna pay for the repairs. In the meantime, I'm driving a silver 2009 Volkswagon Jetta. I'm not complaining. :) The more important thing is that noone was hurt. There was a young family in the other car- mom, dad, and 2 yr. old son. The mom was 8 months pregnant, but luckily she was ok. She went to the hospital just to get the baby checked as a precaution, but thankfully God was protecting all of us that day. :)

So yeah...school's pretty much dominating my life right now. Oh, I bought a new movie this week. It was 'A Goofy Movie', which is of course the source of the quote I used for the title of this post. It was only $10...I couldn't pass that up!! And, I'm going to BG this weekend for the first home game against South Florida, and to visit everyone, of course. Just gotta finish my first dental anatomy practical tomorrow afternoon, and I'm hittin' the road. Gonna be a good weekend. :)

Many apologies

What up people?? I just wanted let ya'll know that there is an update on my life coming soon. This week especially has been insane, stressful, and just plain rough. But as always, God is good and He is in control, and that's all that matters at the end of the day. :) So...sorry if you feel like you haven't been thoroughly updated on my life in the Ville as of late.

And when the heck did September get here???

With arms high and heart abandoned

Can I just say that God is incredible? Because it's true. :) I can say for the first time in a long time that I am consistently reading my Bible and spending time with God every morning. It's the first thing I do when I get out of the shower. Well I get dressed first, but you get the point. I make sure that I allow at least 15-20 minutes for me to read and spend time praying. Let me tell ya, I can tell a huge difference. My attitude in the mornings has been so much better. I don't struggle as much throughout the day with stuff that just drags me down. And my view on life is more God-focused, like it should have been all along. Let me tell you how all of this came about. WARNING: it could be and probably will be somewhat long...I apologize, haha.

As many of you are aware if you read my blog at all, Louisville and I haven't been best friends since I moved up here. I'll spare you the details of why, but it all reached the boiling point last week. I was packing to come back to Louisville after a week off from school, and it had been a great week- time in BG, time with close friends, time at home- I really didn't wanna come back. I was leaving home and was in a horrible mood. Instead of putting my iPod on shuffle like I normally would do for the trip up I-65, I played my worship playlist like my momma suggested, and my mood improved drastically in the 40 minutes from my house to the apartment. That night, I decided that I NEEDED to start reading the Bible daily. It was the one thing that I was missing, and every other area of my walk was suffering. It's always been a weak point for me. Even while being discipled by Matt Haste, teaching 8th grade Sunday school, and serving in multiple postions on BCM Council, a daily quiet time wasn't something that I did. In fact, it was rare. And while I knew it needed to be a priority, I pushed it aside with everything that I was involved in. Everything else was masking how much I really needed the Word in my life. Getting a dose of it on Sundays and at Bible studies throughout the week ain't enough people. Anyway, when I moved to Louisville and left all of that behind, the holes started to show themselves. I had filled them with my list of activities for at least the last 4 years. When I did attempt quiet times throughout college, I would last maybe a week, if that. Then it was back to my routine. When I moved, I didn't have Living Hope and BCM stuff to keep me occupied when I should've been reading my Bible and spending time with God. I didn't have a church home or a community of people to support and encourage me. To be honest...it sucked. I felt alone, I was angry and frustrated, and I really didn't like living in this city. So...after my drive back to Louisville, I decided that on Monday morning, I was getting up at 6 so I could have time to read and pray. And I did. Tuesday, I did it again. And again on Wednesday, and...let's just say I haven't missed a day since then. I love it. I just picked a book of the Bible at random and decided on Acts. I'm reading a chapter a day, journaling about what I read and what I got from it, and spending a few minutes in prayer before and after. God is so good people. Each day He shows me something that I need to work on, and I'm learning. God is showing me, using the early church, where I need to grow, where I need to step up, where I need to just let Him take control...it's so awesome.

I just think it's cool how God grabs hold of us when we think that life just sucks. I'm not gonna say that I hit rock bottom and that life was miserable, but for the first time in a long time, I really felt pretty low. Isn't so cool that it's in those moments that God grabs us and holds us close to Him?? When we finally realize that we NEED Him, He's faithful; He always is regardless. Life is good right now, even if school is getting tougher everyday...but that's a completely different topic all together. :)

Look at the stars, look how they shine for you...

I'm pretty sure I could look at the moon and the stars all night. Especially during the summer and fall. They're always amazed me. There's just something about a full moon against a backdrop of midnight blue and shining stars...it just blows me away. Late at night I'll often go out on our deck when I'm brushing my teeth and just stand there in awe. And I love it in the late summer and fall when the moon comes up and its orange as iit rises over the horizon. You don't really get a lot of stars in Lousiville. Oh, I know they're there, but its hard to see em all because of the city lights. I love being at home, because it's such a big difference. I love being out in the middle of nowhere even more because there are no lights for miles to obstruct your view. If you know me at all, you know how I love that the skies reveal God's glory for all to see. It's another one of those instances where I think to myself, "How can you not know He's real?" I love Psalm 19:1, where it says the glory of the Lord is declared by the skies...not exactly word for word but you get the general idea. People have known for centuries that God uses His creation to show Himself to us. Some of the moments where I've felt closest to God have been when I'm alone in the solitude and quiet of a field with nothing but a breeze, crickets, and a blanket of stars. I wish people could just look up and see that and believe, but sadly that's not the case. And sadly, I usually don't do my part in helping them see God's glory like I do. That's one of my weakest areas of my faith- sharing what I believe with others. It's something I've gotta work on. I want to, I really do. I'm just hesitant when it comes to opening up about what the Lord's done in my life, although I shouldn't be. I know deep down that God will provide the words to say, but that usually isn't enough for me to go ahead and do it. A lot of times, my lack of faith is greater than I like to admit. That's just something me and God gotta work out together. A little prayer from you guys never hurts either. :)

Escape to Kings Island

I love Kings Island. I went yesterday with Allison, Tyler, and Mitch, and we had a blast. Seriously, probably one of the best days ever. It was really crowded, but the longest we had to wait was an hour for one of the rides, and it didn't even feel that long. The weather was great, the company was great, as usual, and the rides were incredible. I haven't been to Kings Island in 4 years, since the summer after I graduated high school. They've added some new rides, which were awesome, and they've changed ownership. They were owned by Paramount, so before all the rides had movie themes and the theme songs played while you waited in line. Now its owned by the company that owns Cedar Point, and while there are no more awesome theme songs and some rides have new names, the quality is top notch. But anyway, let me get back to telling ya about my escape from reality. :)

I love roller coasters. So I was pretty excited when I got there and saw the new coaster Diamondback. It's massive, and fast, and awesome. By far one of my favorite coasters. You get some quality air time on the drops, and its such a smooth ride. That definitely got the adrenaline pumping.

Firehawk was an awesome ride too. We waited in line for an hour to ride it during the afternoon, and it broke. We waited while they did repairs, and a lot of people gave up and moved on to other rides. We wanted to stick it out because we got so close to the front when they all left, but after an hour, they still had no idea how long it would take to fix it. We decided to get out of line and ride other rides while we could. And what do ya know, 5 min after we left the line they started running it again. We kicked ourselves for a while. But it all worked out, we went back later and got to ride it 10 min before the park closed. It was awesome. This coaster puts you on your back for the ride up the hill, and as you go over the top, you flip onto your stomach and it you ride the coaster on your stomach, as if you're flying. It was awesome...definitely one of the stranger but coolest coaster experiences ever. And totally worth the wait.

We also got brave and did the Xtreme Skyflyer. You know, the one where you strap into a harness and they pull you over 150 ft. into the air on a cable, and you pull the ripcord, and you freefall until the cord catches and then you soar over the park?? Yeah, we did it, and it was awesome. It was the biggest adrenaline rush ever and totally worth the 10 bucks we paid for it. They were running a deal...how can you pass that up??

And of course you've got your classics like The Beast and The Vortex, and you've the the stomach-in-your-throat, 315 ft. tall Drop Tower and the oddly relaxing but thrilling Delirium...there are a ton of rides to quench your thirst for a thrill.

So in conclusion, rollercoasters, great friends, and perfect weather...yep, it all adds up to a great day and a great way to spend part of my break from school. :)

Get out of the way

To say it's been a while would be an understatement, haha. These last few weeks have had me pretty busy, so my apologies for not posting regularly. I guess I should update ya'll on what's been happening in my world...

The first month of dental school has flown by. We're already in the middle of our week long break, and we were all VERY ready for it to be here. We finished last week by taking our second gross lecture exam and our first lab practical. Our practical was 51 questions over our 22 cadavers we had been working on for the last 4 weeks. On top of scrambling around and trying to get ready for gross, we started our second class, Dental Anatomy/Pre-clinical Operative. We've finally started learning about the teeth and we actually got to start working on our first cavity preparations. In other words, we started drilling on molars...fake teeth, don't worry, haha. It's gonna get a little tougher next week when we start our full schedules, but it should be fine...I hope. :)

I had to go back to BG and close out my apartment at College Suites this past weekend. I'm not really sad to leave the Suites thanks to the great management team they have there..................but I'm not here to vent, haha. I am gonna miss my roommates and living in BG, as I'm sure you're all aware of. :) I went down to visit last weekend as well, and I've been able to go back to Living Hope these past 2 weekends. I really miss being a part of that church. I got to see my 8th grade guys that are now freshmen in high school (they grow up so fast, haha), and I got to go to the church picnic they had Sunday night, and that was a lot of fun. I got to catch up with Matt and Cheye and some friends that had graduated a couple of years ago. The whole time, I kept thinking to myself "Man, Living Hope keeps raising the bar for churches in Louisville." But then later on, I realized I shouldn't be thinking that way. I know that there is a church in the Ville that God wants me to be a member during my time there, however long that may be. God has a plan for me to get involved in a church like I did at LHBC and He will grow me and use me there just like he has in BG, and I know I'll love being a part of what He's doing there. I can't limit God because I love being a member of a church in a town I don't live in anymore. I can't limit God period, but you get the idea, haha. As much as I love BG and as much as I would love to move back there someday, right now, God has me in Louisville, and BG may or may not be in His plans for my future. So, please pray that I will continue to seek God's will in Louisville, and that I won't let myself get in His way. God is the same no matter where you go, and that's something that I need to keep in mind. :)