One year down

Well, I successfully completed my first year of dental school!! (And summer term of our second year started today...bit of a bummer but we knew it happened like this. :) ) God is good, people. I can think of no other reason as to why I was able to make it out of this last year. Let me be honest for a minute. Dental school is not in and of itself unbearably hard. The stress that you put on yourself to succeed, and moreover, to excel really takes a toll and makes dental school harder than it really is. Of course the hours of studying that you need to put into your science classes and the hours of lab time you need to put toward projects and practicing operative also contribute to the stress. But all in all, it's doable. But I am so thankful that my God is bigger than my stresses and worries. God has placed many friends in my path since school started last July, and they have been there for me through thick and thin. Study partners, someone to laugh with, someone to vent with, a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen when needed....all blessings that I'm very grateful for. And of course my family...it would have been extremely hard without my family to support me. My parents have no idea what I'm talking about when I call to talk about my day, but they always listen and are always praying for me and have encouraging words to say. And my friends down in good 'ol Bowling Green...to say I miss them would be a huge understatement. They've all been great and understanding of the fact that school is a priority right now, and even though I can't see them as often as I'd like, they're always there for me and are great at helping me relax and get away for a while when I visit or when we happen to talk on the phone. All of the people in my life are huge blessings from God. He's given me endurance, rest, confidence, peace, patience and so many other things. More importantly, His unconditional love and grace are always there. I think I've been able to reflect more on that fact this year than ever before, and I've been able to share that with classmates as well. Every time I think about it, or talk about it especially, I get a little emotional because of how great of a gift grace truly is. I'm very undeserving. God is so good, and THAT'S an understatement. :)

Weekend update

So...thought I would give a quick update on life here in the Ville. In a word, it's busy. Very busy. We're heading into our last 2 weeks of classes, and our finals week is the last week of April. And then we get a week off for Derby, and then back for summer term. At least at that point we'll be sophomores! But life is good. School has been very up and down for me this semester. I've had great weeks, I've had days that make me want to give up and quit school, but all in all, I can't complain. I've been blessed with some great friends up here. That was one thing that I missed about BG so much, and I still do. But having a close group of friends that I can study with, hang out with, go to church with...it makes life in the Ville so much more bearable when school gets me down. But my new outlook on school is simply this: I just have to survive and make thru to the next exam. I have been getting so caught up on grades and how I'm comparing to my classmates that I've been really, really upset with myself at times. But ya know what? The hand skills will come with practice. The grades are fine as long as they're passing...doesn't matter what my classmates get. At the end of it all, Lord willing, I'll graduate with a degree in my hand and a career as a dentist ahead of me. So yeah...there's a quick update for ya. My summer schedule should be a LOT less hectic, so I'll try to post more frequently. :) God is good!!! :)

"You're not alone"

This past Tuesday night at The Post, we talked about touching the unnoticed. This month's series is called "Touch", and it has been really challenging, encouraging, and motivating from the first week. This week really struck me however. We read from Mark 5:24-33, and its the story of the bleeding woman who was healed by touching Jesus' robes. Until now, I viewed it as just another story abut one of Jesus' miracles. So wrong. It's deals with so much more than that.

First of all, the thought that this woman had been bleeding for 12 years is hard to fathom. Up until a few years ago, I never even realized what was really going on with her...I just imagined that she was bleeding randomly as if she'd skinned her knees...definitely not the case here. I won't go into details...if you don't know what I'm talking about, go ask your mom. ;) Anyway, Jewish laws stated that if a woman was on her period, she was unclean. Everything she touched, sat on, etc, was also considered unclean during this time. I imagine that dealing with uncleanliness for a week out of the month was frustrating enough...imagine 12 years. And since anything or anyone you touched became unclean as well, you can imagine the responses she drew from people. No one would want to be around her. No one would want to hug her or show any sort of affection. She would be like an ignored, unnoticed, outcast, much like the lepers of the time. Imagine how hard that would be. Imagine how lonely she felt.

Fast forward to 2010. Put yourself in her shoes. Not the bleeding part, but the loneliness. I can assure you that I've never gone 12 years without so much as a tap on the shoulder from a loved one or friend, so I can't imagine what she was experiencing. But I have experienced loneliness. We all have. We're just like this woman. And the thing is, our loneliness may never present itself the same way every time. I've felt lonely and isolated because of sin. I've felt lonely when I moved to Louisville and felt as if I knew nobody. I've felt lonely even in a room full of people. Sure, I have lots of friends, but there are times when being surrounded by a crowd can be when you feel most alone. Just think...I'm sure we've all experienced it at some point. And when it happens to you, you feel even more isolated because you feel as if nobody else understands what you're going through or what you're thinking and feeling. That makes it much harder.

Back to the story. This woman had faith that even touching the hem of Jesus' robes would heal her and make her clean. (v. 28) To do so, she would have to push through the crowds, touching hundreds of people in the streets, making them "unclean" as she did. And then what faith and boldness it must have taken for her to reach out and touch the God of the Universe in the flesh. If there were one person that I would be afraid to touch and make "unclean", it would be Him. But Jesus didn't care. He knew immediately and asked "Who touched me?" (v. 31) With there being such a huge crowd, that woman could have easily shrunken away and left without ever saying a word. But she stepped forward and told Jesus everything. For one thing, I think it's amazing how even in a situation where she had no idea how Jesus would react, she felt compelled to tell Him everything about her situation. (v. 33) And he didn't get mad like some might expect. He responded by calling her daughter. (v. 34) Right in that moment, I can imagine how loved she felt. With a single touch, she went from being known as an unclean outcast to being referred to as a daughter by the Son of God. She went from feeling lonely and unloved to knowing that the Creator loved her and cared so much for her. How incredible?!

Picture your own life again. God has done the same for us. If you want to think of it as being "unclean", our sins have made us just as unclean as this woman, if not more. Yet Jesus calls us sons and daughters. He loves us so much that none of that matters. As long as we confess our sins to Him and have faith and truly believe in who He is, like the woman, He will gladly cover our sins and vouch for us before the Lord someday. Our faith makes us well, just like it did for her. And just like the woman, He can heal us of our loneliness. In today's world, its so hard to remember that even on our loneliest days, God is always right there with us, and that we're never truly alone. We sang a song to end the night on Tuesday that I thought summed it all up perfectly. And as cliche as it is to post song lyrics, I'm gonna post some of the lyrics to this song because I think this song describes Christ's love for us so beautifully.

Safe, by Phil Wickham

To the one who's dreams are falling all apart
And all you're left with is a tired and broken heart
I can tell by your eyes you think your on your own
but you're not all alone

Have you heard of the One who can calm the raging seas
Give sight to the blind, pull the lame up to their feet
With a love so strong and never let you go
oh you're not alone

You will be safe in His arms
You will be safe in His arms
'Cause the hands that hold the world are holding your heart
This is the promise He made
He will be with You always
When everything is falling apart
You will be safe in His arms

I just posted the first verse or two and the chorus, but I think you get the picture. I've heard this song I don't know how many times on the radio, but Tuesday night is when the meaning of the lyrics really hit me. I just love how it reminds us that we're not alone. God does the same thing all throughout Scripture, and I'm so glad that He's given us that promise. And even though its tough, I always try to remember that even on my worst days, I'm never, ever alone. The God who created the universe created me, holds me together, and loves me more than I could ever know. No matter what I'm feeling or going through, God will always be there to pick up the pieces when I fall apart and feel as if the rest of world could care less. And because God does that for us, we can and should do that for others. How can we reach out to the people who may feel unnoticed and unloved and touch them? I'm not just talking literal touch, although hugs and pats on the back are great. How can we impact someone's life by noticing them, even if it's just by having a conversation at lunch, or simply acknowledging them with a genuine smile? How can we share the love of Christ with the people of this world who need Him so desperately? Who in your life needs to experience the healing, loving, powerful touch of Christ?

How awesome is our God? :)

Me and my pal Regis

Well, I've been back in school for 2 weeks now, and I can already tell one thing about this semester: it's gonna be busy. As far as studying goes, I don't think it will be as intense as last semester. I say that now...we'll see, haha. However I can already tell that I'm going to be spending a lot of extra time at school in the labs working on dentures projects and trying to catch up with Operative. We're definitely starting to have more of a dentistry focus in our classes, and I think I'll enjoy that for the most part. But, a new semester means a new beginning, and that in itself is pretty exciting. On a side note about school, we're taking Head & Neck Anatomy this semester, and you know what that means...new cadavers!! This time around, we're only dissecting the head and the neck...hence the name of the class. :) We named our cadaver Regis. It's a good conversation starter. :)

God's really working in my life and revealing areas that need to be cleaned up, where I need to grow, and He's just teaching me so much. I can definitely feel when Satan tries to get at me, and those days are just downright frustrating and depressing. Those are the days when I question why I'm in dental school and if I've made the right decision. Those are the days when I have a bad day in lab and where I really just don't wanna study. But then there are the days where God gets my attention and says "Ryan, you're here for a reason. Be patient, and have faith." So that's what I've been trying to do. I'm reading my Bible more. I'm trying to be more faithful in prayer. I've been trying to live each day in a way that's pleasing to Christ, and I'm praying that His desires would be my desires and that I would stop living this life for myself. I gave that up when I was 7 years old...little did I know back then. It's only taken me 16 years to realize it. And believe me, it's not any easier knowing it now. Every day is a battle. But God is faithful, as always. This past Thursday, I had one of those days where God said "Ryan, here's why you're in dental school." I got to do my first clinical rotation for one of my classes, and it was in the Pedo (pediatric) clinic. I loved it. I've always loved hanging out and working with kids. If you've heard me talk about camp, you know how true that is. :) Until now, I've ruled out the possibility of specializing because I just didn't want to put myself through the stress and pressure of trying to be top of my class to get into a residency program. Most programs accept 2-3 students out of pools of at least 100 applicants. Needless to say, I could very easily see myself working with kids as a dentist. Whether thats as a general dentist who treats patients of all ages or as a pediatric dentist remains to be determined. I'm leaving that up to God. I know I'll be happy whichever way He leads though. That being said, specializing is not ruled out anymore...we'll just see where God takes me. After all, that's still a good 3 years away. I got really excited about it though, and a few of us went to observe in the Pedo Dental OR at Kosair's Children's Hospital on Friday morning at 7 am before class. The program director said we could observe and hang out with them anytime, so I think I may try to do that when I can. Ya know, just to keep my options open. :)

But anyway, yeah. God. School. Not much else going on in my life really. And that's ok. I'm gonna try to get more involved with Southeast and The Post this semester, and I'm hopefully going to join a small group in the next few weeks. I really miss having that kind of relationship with a group of guys who are able to keep me accountable, both in my spiritual walk and my personal life. It's such a blessing, and you don't realize how hard it can be trying to live the life Christ has called us to live until you try it alone. We're not meant to live it alone. That's one thing God has really taught me so far in my time in Louisville. But I've also gotta remember- even when I feel like I'm alone, Jesus is always with me. What an awesome thought. :)

One semester down...

Um....hey. My name's Ryan. You may not remember me. I'm the guy who used to write on this blog. In case you forgot about me, let me refresh your memory; I'm 23, I love Jesus, and I'm now finished with my first semester of dental school. :D

Let me apologize for abandoning my blog for the last 3 months. I thought about writing off and on, but honestly, I just had way too much to keep up with for school. Long story short...I love dental school, but it's hard. To say I'm relieved that the semester is over would be a huge understatement. I really needed a break. Mentally, I'm exhausted, which makes sense because I've been in school since July. And I think I just need a break from Louisville in general. I love the city now. But I associate it with stress too, so it's good to get away for a while and just relax. I miss people though. But anyway, nothing too exciting in my life other than school. I study all the time. At least it feels like it. Such is the life of a dental student.

But now it's Christmas time, so forget about school. I've loved being home without having to worry about studying or anything like that. It's so good to just relax with my family. And plus, it's Christmas, and that makes it 100x better. :) Now I just need to focus on what it's really about, because for the last few years, it's become about a long break from school, and time to hang out with friends without school getting in the way, and sadly about getting stuff. How selfish is that? Of course I know that we celebrate Jesus coming to Earth as a baby, but for some reason that's never on the forefront of my mind as of late. But that's an issue for me and God.

Oh, and I recently celebrated an anniversary. Friday, December 18th was the one year anniversary of when I had my gallbladder removed. It's been a good year without that little green, pear-shaped sac of bile. However, it still bothers me from the grave. Nothing big, just the occasional pain in my side where it used to live, phantom limb kind of thing. Or maybe phantom organ...anyway, it's annoying more than anything.

So yeah. I'm back, temporarily anyway. I plan on fully enjoying my break from school. I've already made a trip to BG, and I've already started catching up with some friends from home. Lots of family time already too, which means a LOT of screaming cousins running around the house like a bunch of monkeys on crack...gotta love em though!! This break is much shorter than what I'm used to from WKU though. Used to get 5-6 weeks off, and now I get 3. Not complaining though! I start back Jan. 4th, so I'm just gonna sit back and enjoy the few weeks I have left. One semester down, 7 more to go! And if this semester was any indication, they are gonna FLY by. Whoever said that time moves faster the older you get was definitely right. Not so sure I like that...haha.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! :D

Dear Fall

Dear Fall,

Thank you for arriving. I love everything about you: leaves changing color, football, hot chocolate, apples, pumpkin pie, cool weather, apple orchards, my birthday, apple cider, caramel apples, chili, Homecoming, brilliant blue skies, tailgating, hayrides, camping, bonfires, leaf piles...I could go on and on. I love the summer, for obvious reasons. Spring is great too, and even winter's not so bad, but Fall, I think you're my favorite. (Except for that whole school thing, but you can't help that.)

I'm looking forward to what you will bring us this year, and all of the fun times that I get to experience while you're here. You bring back so many memories, and sometimes that makes it hard to focus on things like Phsyio exams that I have in 3 days, which I really should be studying for...but instead I'm blogging about you. But really Fall, I'm glad you're here. Welcome back. :)

Your friend,
Ryan

Always a silver lining

So I had a pretty rough week. I spent most of the week in a funk, not really sure if I'm supposed to be in dental school. It's been one of those weeks where I wondered if I'm following God's will or if I'm just doing my own thing and convincing myself that it's God's will. And it rained all week. Funks and rain don't mix well my friends. School is getting tougher, and next year will be even harder...oh the things to look forward to. Last night, I found out that one of my good buddies from WKU, Paul, has my former Sunday school guys in his small group at Living Hope. I got really jealous and felt kinda left out, if that makes sense. And I'm still driving a rental car because my car is still in the shop getting fixed from my accident that happened 3 weeks ago. And did I mention that school is getting tougher? Pretty much at least an exam a week for who know how many weeks, quizzes pretty much everyday, and an overwhelming amount of notes to study, plus our upcoming competencies in operative class over cavity preparations that I'm still not doing so hot at.

But on the plus side of things...

I love my classmates. We had our Ball Off the Belle last night, and my classmates are so much fun to be around. The upperclassmen are great too...well, the few of 'em that I know. But it was a lot of fun and was a good way to end the week...relaxing and having fun. And I got out of my funk. God is good, and I still feel as if He wants me there for now...hopefully until I finish school, lol. That was confirmed last night at the Ball. I invited 2 good friends from WKU who are classmates here in Louisville to the Post with me this past Tuesday. They loved it, and said they both really enjoyed the worship and the preaching. And last night, while I was dancing with one of them, she thanked me for inviting them and told me they want to start going every week because of the difference it made in her week this week. That immediately made my week better. And it's like my mom told me this week when I called to tell her I didn't wanna go to school anymore (because every guy calls his mom when he has a so called life crisis haha), Satan is probably making life hard for me because he wants to keep me from finishing school so I can't do God's work here and eventually do dental missions someday. And I invited friends to church...that probably didn't make him happy either. But our God is SO much bigger and more powerful than Satan, and God's will is done regardless of Satan's plans. Maybe I'm not the best student in my class, and that's more than ok with me. Maybe I don't have the best hand skills right now, but that's ok too because God can use me somehow to have an impact on the lives of my classmates, whether it be big or small. And I'll get better with time...just gotta practice. And yeah, school's tough, but I knew it would be going into it. Just gotta take it like a man and do my best. And about my former Sunday school guys...I was jealous at first because Paul gets to hang out with them now and lead them in Bible study, and I'm not really involved in their lives anymore. But you know what?? They've got a great leader in Paul. Paul's a great guy who really loves the Lord, and they're in good hands. God is taking care of 'em, and that alone makes my selfish feelings go away. And yeah, I'm driving a rental and would love to have the good 'ol Bonneville back already, but at least I have a car to drive for the time being.

God is good and He is faithful. He will never let me down, and when I need Him most, that's when He is at His best, and He's always at His best, let's be honest. The most powerful being in all of creation loves me, created me, gave His Son for me, wants me to spend eternity with Him, and is always on my side. I don't deserve it, but that's what makes it so great. He loves me, and that's enough for me anyday.

Guess it wasn't such a bad week afterall. :)