Friday, January 23, 2009

An emotional not-so rollercoaster

This past week, I've been faced with a lot of different emotions. I wouldn't go as far as to call it a rollercoaster-type of week, but it has made me do a lot of thinking. I've experienced excitement, sadness, fear, among others. Those just seem to be the dominate ones. Allow me to elaborate.

I'll start with the excitement. I got to go up to Rupp Arena and watch my Cats beat the Auburn Tigers. I've loved going to Rupp since I was a kid. I've been raised on Kentucky basketball, and any time I get to go watch them play, I get excited...giddy almost. (Ask Sarah, haha) It's also the last week of Christmas break. Now, while part of me is really sad about not having anymore days off after this weekend, the beginning of a new semester is always exciting. Reuniting with friends makes starting classes again bearable. Not only that, but this semester is my LAST semester at WKU. Who doesn't get excited about finishing college??

Moving on to sadness. While I'm ready to finish up at WKU and move on, I also get pretty nostalgic when I think about it. I've gotten really attached to not only WKU, but Bowling Green. I've made so many friends in my classes and at the BCM. This past week, some of us were talking, and we kept reliving the funny memories we've made since we met a few years ago. And plus, it's going to be really hard to leave behind so many great people. I've been blessed with such a great community at the BCM, and even moreso at Living Hope. These friends have been an extended family to me over the last few years. It was hard seeing a lot of the past seniors graduate and move on, but I think it will be even harder to move on myself.

And that brings me to fear. When I graduate in May, I'll have to start packing up my things here in BG, move them back home to Etown, and then on to Louisville. I'll essentially be starting over. New city, new apartment, new school, new friends, new church's kind of overwhelming to think about. To say I'm not nervous or scared would be a huge understatement. Believe it or not, this social butterfly is really shy and nervous when it comes to meeting new people. I can usually open up pretty quickly, but if I'm in a room full of people I don't know, I'm content to stand to the side.

Now, all of this being said, I know the Lord will take care of me. He'll help me when it comes time to leave all of my friends in BG. He'll lead me to a great church family in Louisville. He'll bless me with a new community and new friends. And I know that I won't be leaving my friends at WKU forever. I'll be back in BG to visit when I can, and I know that we'll keep in touch. God has blessed me with an incredible opportunity, and I know that He's been preparing me for it over the last 4 years, and probably much longer. I really have nothing to worry about or be afraid of. But the human aspect of all of this seems overwhelming. I'm so glad that my God is bigger than my doubts and fears. I'm just gonna enjoy my last semester on the Hill. I've still got a lot of memories to make, and a lot of quality time with friends to enjoy. It's gonna be a great semester, and I know the Lord is gonna continue to bless me in ways that I'm sure will surprise me. God is good!!


Whitney Reno said...

It makes sense to be nervous and a little nostalgic.

I too can be crazy in a room of my friends, but when forced to meet people in an entirely foreign environment, I quiet down.

But, it can also be really exciting! As sad as you may be about leaving Bowling Green, you get to do it all again! You get to meet even more new people. It's going to be awesome!

pshhh... said...

ryan. dont ever blog about leaving again. ignorance is bliss. : )

emilyK said...

Ryan! I just found your blog while reading Christy's blog...

I feel you on being nostalgic... it's pretty sad to think that there are gonna be so many people that we most likely won't keep in touch with, no matter how hard we try!!! BUT... I'm going with you, we will have NCIS nights (if they ever make any new episodes...) and you will find even better friends than me!!!